President Throws Down “Last-Ditch” Gauntlet

June 19, 2010

Okay . . . most of us are in our 50’s.  I know that in the last 3 years I have actually felt my age and perhaps a couple more.  Tigger remains timeless, showing virtually no sign of accumulating birthdays.  Skipper doesn’t have a joint on his body that is pain free.  Gimli . . . well he has a Harley and a goatee to match . . . looks pretty good too.  Does anyone know if Gringo has entered his fifth decade?  I do know that the Argentinian training program is terminal for most of us especially seeing its effect on the one who developed it.

There are some younger ones . . . yes.  The kids and the kids, aside from Ruperts commitment aversion, seem fairly good with the last reduction in the President’s Challenge.  And maybe in reality, this is simply a dose of 50 + years of reality hitting hard.  I don’t know.


I am prepared to throw down one last effort at making the PC palatable to all of you old farts.  The young bucks can do this with ease and perhaps inspire the rest of us to reach a bit farther as well.

  • Whereas these and other circumstances constitute the current reality of an aging runner’s club;
  • Whereas there seems to be a general lack of grass roots response to the 1st and 2nd readings of the President’s Challenge;
  • Whereas the cost of the Gulf Coast clean up will likely impact our gas prices adversely . . . at some point;
  • Whereas the early morning noise of socks being pulled up over hairy legs, is a sleep deterrent to at least one of the wives of the 6AM’ers;
  • Whereas, coming to coffee dressed up like you ran, actually constitutes a run equal to half of what you would have run . . . if you had actually run;
  • Whereas coming late and leaving early, although unverifiable, also constitutes a 1 count in the monthly totals;
  • Whereas coming to St. Timothy’s, in and around the time that runners would converge on our early morning edifice, is important for the health and longevity of the group;
  • Whereas the motto of the group has recently changed from, “6AM Runners . . . not to fast . . . not to slow . . . half fast.” . . . to . . . “6AM Runners . . . running is optional and coffee is mandatory.”;
  • Whereas, the President, in life transition and exodus from pastoral ministry, has a little more time to waste on this kind of stupid stuff;

Be it therefore resolved once more that the President’s Challenge be further reduced to 12 times* a month.

Now if any of you continue to struggle with this, let’s just pretend that it is going to work for  you.  Pick up the oven mitt that I have thrown down and in the spirit of all that is feminine, rise to this “not-real-challenging” challenge.

I love you . . .

May God bless us every one . . .

President Warthog

*12 times a month is the reasonable suggestion of Johnnie O



July 22, 2008

If you wonder why people run in the first place, then let me warn you, many people will provide you many different answers, that are either LUCID or perhaps not so clear, but often leaving you to doubt their level of sanity.  But in the end, the only way your question can be truly answered is to actually experience running for yourself. 

But here is the problem, to experience running you must first get started – “If you want to get to it, you have to get at it.  And unfortunately, far too many people forget that they are no longer 25 years of age with the immortality that goes along with youth.  As a result, many of the best plans are destined to failure even before they begin, simply because of one’s exuberance. 

So, over the next couple of articles (which I am trying to keep shorter due to certain allegations about the longevity of my former articles) I want to tell you how well over 200 runners started with my encouragement, and in doing so, I want you to know that although I do not know the actual statistics, I believe that well over 160 of these are still doing some running. 

There are two Golden Rules that I will stress over and over, the first and perhaps most important rule that not only applies to beginning runners, but equally to experienced runners is “If you want to go fast, then you have to go slow – and – if you think you are going too slow, then SLOW DOWN.”  Although this approach may seem counter intuitive, let me suggest the opposite.  If you are like me then you will relate to this as our everyday life is filled with examples.  I am always surprised by the number of times I have rushed about to complete a task of some sort, only either to have messed up something else or created a mess of the project I am working on.  In any event, the result is A MAKE (MORE) WORK PROJECT.  In fact you have all heard of the Carpenters Rule – Measure Twice and Cut once.  Well it applies to all of us, especially when it comes to running. 

The second rule that is equally vital is that the distance that you cover is not all that important rather the more important measuring tool is what I like to simply refer to as “Time on Your Feet.”  For older people, and those of you who did any type of training 20 to 30 years ago this may be foreign to your thought process.  But it has been proven over and over again through scientific studies and through anecdotal evidence that the most important aspect to your fitness regime is not the miles you log, but the time you are active.  That is why most health models refer to doing exercise for so many minutes a day, rather than telling you how many miles or kilometers you must log.

So with these two rules, I will follow up with the following three topics of discussion over the next little while.  First, I want to speak about types of footwear and what one should do to purchase same; secondly I want to speak about the Galloway method of training that was introduced by the world famous running coach Jeff Galloway and that introduces, much to the chagrin of purists, the concept walking interspersed with running and finally, I want to expand upon the “Time on Your Feet” concept.

Please note this article is only 598 words.