President Throws Down “Last-Ditch” Gauntlet

June 19, 2010

Okay . . . most of us are in our 50’s.  I know that in the last 3 years I have actually felt my age and perhaps a couple more.  Tigger remains timeless, showing virtually no sign of accumulating birthdays.  Skipper doesn’t have a joint on his body that is pain free.  Gimli . . . well he has a Harley and a goatee to match . . . looks pretty good too.  Does anyone know if Gringo has entered his fifth decade?  I do know that the Argentinian training program is terminal for most of us especially seeing its effect on the one who developed it.

There are some younger ones . . . yes.  The kids and the kids, aside from Ruperts commitment aversion, seem fairly good with the last reduction in the President’s Challenge.  And maybe in reality, this is simply a dose of 50 + years of reality hitting hard.  I don’t know.


I am prepared to throw down one last effort at making the PC palatable to all of you old farts.  The young bucks can do this with ease and perhaps inspire the rest of us to reach a bit farther as well.

  • Whereas these and other circumstances constitute the current reality of an aging runner’s club;
  • Whereas there seems to be a general lack of grass roots response to the 1st and 2nd readings of the President’s Challenge;
  • Whereas the cost of the Gulf Coast clean up will likely impact our gas prices adversely . . . at some point;
  • Whereas the early morning noise of socks being pulled up over hairy legs, is a sleep deterrent to at least one of the wives of the 6AM’ers;
  • Whereas, coming to coffee dressed up like you ran, actually constitutes a run equal to half of what you would have run . . . if you had actually run;
  • Whereas coming late and leaving early, although unverifiable, also constitutes a 1 count in the monthly totals;
  • Whereas coming to St. Timothy’s, in and around the time that runners would converge on our early morning edifice, is important for the health and longevity of the group;
  • Whereas the motto of the group has recently changed from, “6AM Runners . . . not to fast . . . not to slow . . . half fast.” . . . to . . . “6AM Runners . . . running is optional and coffee is mandatory.”;
  • Whereas, the President, in life transition and exodus from pastoral ministry, has a little more time to waste on this kind of stupid stuff;

Be it therefore resolved once more that the President’s Challenge be further reduced to 12 times* a month.

Now if any of you continue to struggle with this, let’s just pretend that it is going to work for  you.  Pick up the oven mitt that I have thrown down and in the spirit of all that is feminine, rise to this “not-real-challenging” challenge.

I love you . . .

May God bless us every one . . .

President Warthog

*12 times a month is the reasonable suggestion of Johnnie O


President Throws Down Smaller Gauntlet

June 17, 2010

Okay . . . so Johnnie O., Tigger and Dexter were out today.  Dexter chased a terrified squirrel up the backstop in the ballpark . . . this squirrel narrowly escaped with his life.

When Dexter is not out in the morning, this is Tigger’s job.  He didn’t get the squirrel today but he got a raven yesterday . . . nailed him.  On the way to Woodstock I think . . . the raven was either sick, stupid or arrogant, all potentially fatal.  There is a dent in the grill of Tigger’s new car, to commemorate this rare occurrence.

Oh yes . . . Skipper showed for coffee around 7:00a when we were all leaving. Sorry Steve.

So . . . on my run today, I was doing math in my head and talking to God.  Perhaps I was a bit over zealous when I put yesterday’s challenge at 20 times a month.  Today, . . . out of pure concern for the rest of you, I have decided to reduce the size of the gauntlet and suggest that our target should be . . . ummm . . . let me see . . . let’s say 16 times a month without prejudice to distance covered.

So that’s my final offer . . . unless my run/prayer time produces something additional tomorrow.

6AM Runners Superbowl Debate

February 19, 2009

The debate that lead up to the 2009 Superbowl  – CLICK HERE to listen now

New Years Offer

January 2, 2009

Check out the video below for a great runners deal….


Stephen’s “road” to the Half Marathon

September 25, 2008

As you all know, Tim Hector, Sean and I ran the 1/2 marathon this weekend in Ottawa. The first three did it under 2 hrs and well I finished in 2 hrs 39 minutes. But that not what I want to tell you about. Let me tell the true story of the journey to the Capitol

We left late Thursday, and headed West. Like all good pilgrims we had packed the van with food and supplies. Plus Hector brought along a box, tightly sealed ready to be mailed. The question the other occupants had was why wait to mail it in Montreal. It looked suspicious and small white smoke floated in the air after you tapped. Tim became suspicious that he was going to meet another of Hector’s South American friends in another garage.

Pink became the colour of choice for the Van’s occupants. As we stopped at many gas stations of Hector’s choosing we began to discover a reoccurring theme. Simply put, one of us opened the door and Hector bolted towards the Belt and hat rack and started arranging the stock. Imagine being the gas attendant and seeing a Hugh guy holding the door while a foreigner ran to the belt rack followed by two confused individuals.

The story goes on but here are some quotable sayings from the trip

Tim to hector

No Hector that’s not an Immigration Station it’s a migration station

Sports Check Sale Clerk to the group after looking at us

Have you “trained : for the run…pause really

Runner to Steve at the 15 km mark Sunday after running behind him for a while and then passing him

How much do you weight?

I nearly stopped right there.

At another Sports Store

Time and I were looking at running clothes and the Clerk was explaining how the garment worked in the wind. He stopped and looked at me and said

“t does not work if your standing still” then in an attempt to dig himself out of the hole he dug he quickly said to me, ” I had an uncle who runs in Marathon’s in the Clydesdale division”.

I did not buy the item and We went home after that

The 6AM Runners Marathon (Promotional Video II)

August 27, 2008

CLICK HERE to Watch the Marathon Now!

Best Excuse Yet

August 16, 2008

Sleepy season was a good one.  You get over tired . . . don’t hear the alarm . . . early morning appointment.  It’s a bio-rhtyhmic thing.  As most of you know, I even tried sleeping with an Iron Man watch hanging out of my mouth so that I wouldn’t miss the alarm.  (Absolutely true!  Ask the Tin Man or Tigger)  They questioned me on it, over coffee, one morning.  My response was stupid by any standard.  “Oh, don’t try to tell me that you guys have never done that!”  Needless to say, this was a mistake and I have never heard the end of it.  But that’s the nature of the group.  So now I have the best excuse yet.  I had laser surgery and a “cryo” procedure on two retinal tears in my right eye.  The doctor tells me that I can’t run for at least a month.  So I have been sleeping in . . . coffee only twice  this past week.  Now I know that my friends are incredibly concerned for my well-being but I also know that sooner or later a runner has to face the music and I have to confess that I am not all that excited about the possibility.  I did compile a list . . . top ten good things about not being able to see that well.  Let me share it with you:


  1. No more bad-hair days.
  2. Justification for a bigger, big-screen TV.
  3. You get to ignore people that you don’t like.  You can walk right past them and never speak.
  4. You get to ignore the offering plate in church.
  5. No more ugly people.
  6. No more beautiful people.
  7. You get to see things that other people can’t see.
  8. You get to “not see” things that other people see.
  9. Easier to resist sexual temptation.
  10. The Word is a “light” unto my path and a “lamp” unto my feet.

Now I want you to know that I will be back, slower than ever, sometime in September if the good Lord is willing.  I miss you guys like crazy.